Saturday, March 31, 2012

My Horcruxes

A young friend of mine is trying to get over her first real love.  

She wrote:  "What sucks, and is really rather ludicrous, is that I feel like I owe him something, even after everything, how he desperately didn't want to lose me as a friend and how sweet he was to me, I've loved a few men in my life but he was the only one who ever loved me back, and for those reasons, I feel like I owe him something..."

I thought to myself, "I recognize that feeling."  

And I proceeded to think it through, in writing of course.  

There have been many people in my life who have meant a great deal to me.  Many are still there.  Some are not.  I’ve had people in my life that passed through and moved on.  Some, I've been sorry to see go, others....that I never want to interact with again.  Nevertheless, all of these people who were in my life were, at the time, very important to me.  They were there through important events and happenings; they were instrumental in the events that changed my life and/or in teaching me something about life.  I realize that, but for their presence, such events and such lessons may never have arisen. 

Do I owe them?

These people, for better or for worse, were important in my life.  In essence, they have a piece of my life, of me.  For that reason, I guess I owe them.  I owe them a debt of gratitude for the path my life took because of their presence there, for the life lesson(s) I learned because of them.  A part of them is in me, and they have with them, a part of me.  They horcruxes, I guess. 

And because they carry a part of me with them, it is hard to let them go.  For good lessons, and the harder ones, I carry their memory with me...and wonder where they are, what they're doing, how their lives are going.  For better or for worse, for good lessons or the ones that hurt, I owe them for making me into the person I am.

Yes, yes, like the song...

I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them and we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you

My horcruxes...I think of you sometimes, and I thank you.