Monday, May 31, 2010

Life's Lessons

I've got a new friendship in the works.  I'm always sort of amazed at adult friendships because I don't think that the adult world is set up to facilitate making new friends--at least, not so easy as in the world of education--high school and college--where the potential for meeting new friends is an every day occurrence. 

So I have a new friend in my life.  I found him through, guess what, theatre.  Hmm.  I guess the potential for new friends in theatre is pretty high.  I picked a good avocation.  :-)  

We did a show together last summer.  Throughout this year, we've crossed paths on and off.  He loves theatre and that's where we connect--doing theatre things.  He's helped me with KidsPlay and he's helping me with the Act-Teens.  He's part of the GleeParty gang.  And now, he's slowly becoming a friend of the family.

We talk a lot.  We talk about theatre, about mutual friends and acquaintances, about the shared and separate shows we're doing, about experiences we've had--in college, in teaching.  And in the course of the dialogue, it's interesting to hear his life's lessons come through.  He's, surprise, quite a bit younger than me, but not so young that he hasn't learned a thing or two about life and people.  And what he's learned is different than what I've learned.  And it's interesting to learn about another person's make-up, values, philosophy, sharing experiences, discussing the here and now.

I listen to him when he talks.  When, in the course of conversation, his life's lessons surface, I listen hard to what he's saying and wonder how he came to learn those lessons, some of which I've learned in other ways, some of which I haven't learned and may never.  Or maybe I could learn them vicariously--by listening to him. 

I'm tentative in this new friendship.  I've got a little baggage lately and I'm cautious about how much to put out there.  But he's kind, and helpful, smart and fun; he's comfortable in my mess of a house and with my husband and kids.  It could be a different kind of friendship and a different kind of summer.  And that might be okay.

Friday, May 28, 2010

The Fix

I'm going to fix it.

They say the tango takes two
but I waltz alone
and today--it really must be today.

A long time coming--
Like the glaciers of eons
Creeping in
freezing all in their path
with chilling doom.

Awakening entangled in linen,
Despair's victory grasped in her upraised fist.
I lie immobile 
casting about inside to assess what remains,
summoning the strength for a teary, sweat-stained
hand-over-hand climb to that rocky crag.

Time and tablets are healers.
 Washed down with one sip
And in ten days or a week or two or three,
the wistful blues in the mirror, anxious chewed lips,
uncertain, pale and ever-thinning countenance
will be just a reflection of memory.
Jagged, rust-encrusted edges
of the gaping rent
smoothed out and filling in like Mishe Mokwa
eroding into the freshwater sea.
False hollow laughter 
through the Dungeon's catacombs echoes away--
Distracted glances at the door--
Shadows crossing my countenance like boxcars of memory--
All soon relics of this earthbound purgatory.

Lines and laughter, a golden season
pressed under glass...
A roulette wheel, the roller coaster,
slowed and tamed at last.
Every mountain and hill brought low. 
The depths become shallow. 
And will I remember you?
And will I remember this?
And will I remember?
And will I?
And how?

Monday, May 24, 2010

A thought on love...

“Love is always patient and kind; it is never jealous, love is never boastful or conceited; it is never rude or selfish; it does not take offense, and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins but delights in the truth; it is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endure whatever comes. Love does not come to an end.”


I broke several of these, namely the 'it is never jealous' clause.  I was jealous.  I couldn't help it.  I always brag that I love my people unconditionally, no matter what.  But it isn't true.  It wasn't unconditional because I expected to be loved in return.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

I DO Believe, I Do

Have you loved me long enough
And do you love me strong enough
to keep the dark away?

When you wrap your arms around me
Don't you know that you're my armor?
But the dragon that you're fighting
doesn't have green scales and claws.

In your eyes, I see my castle.
Your kiss is my protection.
Can you save your damsel fair?

With poisoned fruit she beckons;
The witch is at the door.
The spinning wheel awaits;
Will I sleep forever more?

Can you swim across the moat
and carry me to safety?
Break the spell that binds me
and remove this gloomy curse?

If you click your heels and tap three times,
Clap for fairies, and kiss that frog
Try the slipper on my foot and remind me of the magic,
Will 'happily ever after' end this tale?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Like You Mean It...

I just woke up from the dream world. 

I was in a big warehouse and I was helping the Drama-Teens with costumes for an upcoming show.  They were coming out one at a time in costume and I was approving them, commenting on them, and giving hugs.  And one of them came out dressed in something that I had made from the KidsPlay costume rack--a vest with one front panel red and the other blue.  He had red and blue bandanas hanging from his shoulders like he was supposed to be some sort of patriotic character.  I was pleased with his sense of entitlement to the KidsPlay costumes and I said, "Well, look at you!" and I gave him the same cursory hug I'd given the rest.   And then brown eyes looked down at me and said, "Would you please hug me like you mean it?"  And so I did.  Because I did mean it very much.  I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him for dear life.

And then I woke up.  And immediately wished I hadn't.  And here it is.  The morning I've feared was coming for a month or so...the morning when I feel like I simply cannot get myself up out of bed.  But I have to.  I have so much to do.  Today is the busiest day of this week.  I. Have. To. Get. Up.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Hello, Followers--

I don't have very many followers, but I'm curious.  There are...six of you that I don't believe I know personally.  I'd like to ask you a few questions.

1)  How did you find my blog?
2)  Why did you decide to follow it?
3)  Do you read regularly?

I'm just curious.  You may contact me privately if you don't wish to post for all 21 of us to read:


Monday, May 3, 2010

Night Rhyme

In the middle of the night
in the lonesome dark
where the fear of god begins
And you think of
what has come and gone
and will never come again

Things you wish you’d said
What you wish you’d done
Things you wish that you had not
Old wounds, ancient souls
Times gone by
And people long forgot

Old bruises luminescent
reappear in the pale moonlight
the sticks and stones
of broken bones
that never healed quite right

The nighttime is
the Twilight Zone
no future, no present, no past.
Conversations played out
in my mind
going all my way at last

What you fear most
the throb of regret
What you know you’ve lost
In the dark of the night
silent and alone
You measure the true cost.