I've been thinking through some New Year's Resolutions in my head. I don't need to quit smoking or drinking. I probably should lose weight and exercise, but in 30 years of resolving to climb such mountains, I have yet to succeed. My New Year's Resolutions will have to do with connecting with people instead.
1) My Parents.
My mom turns 75 this year. My dad is, I think, 77. I resolve to spend more time with them over the coming year. Drive up and see them, at least once a season: spring, summer, fall, winter. It can be during the week or over the weekend. It's only two hours away and it's shameful how infrequently I see them when there's only that much space between us. I WILL do this. In fact, I'm thinking of maybe packing up Mom and driving her down to Cary (North Carolina) to visit with Debbie over Spring Break.
2) My Friends.
I'm slowly coming to the realization that I don't have friends, I really just have 'people I work on projects with'. I hadn't really felt that way about the people around me, but it's become increasingly apparent that that's how everyone seems to feel about ME. I don't get invited to stuff--to dinners, movies, shows, parties even--although I'm thought of when someone needs a costume, I'm just not...remembered...when it comes to doing stuff socially, I guess. I had thought that I was sort of the lynch pin of all of us--the connecting person who introduced this person/family to that person/family--that when we got together to do something, we ALL got together to do something, but apparently that was a figment of my own self-importance. I resolve to try to connect to people on a social level, rather than just on a working-together level.
3) My House.
My house is...busy. Cluttered. Too many projects going on in it all at once. I'm surrounded by people who keep perfect homes and mine is....not. I never have people over because my house is never clean. I resolve to keep a cleaner house, a more 'inviting' house, so that when I want to have people over, people don't automatically say, "Um, let's have it at MY house..." and so that it's not a major task to clean up. Maybe this will help me with Resolution #2, also. That WHEN I get invited somewhere, I can actually return the invitation in a timely manner.
2012. Not feeling very happy and positive about this year yet and that's really not like me. Lots of stress around here, and tension. I worry that things are going to come to a head soon, that the other foot with drop and that things will come crashing down. My hope, however, is that from the inevitable ashes will come the phoenix. Here's hoping that the new year brings something soon...something good.