So I went back and read my "Diary" entry from this morning. Wow. Wasted my life??? Liz called me out on it, and I don't blame her. Supermom that she is, she was probably horrified to read that.
So let me clarify now by saying that I would not trade my Mom-hood for all the freedom, life choices, or opportunities in the world. The joy, the experiences, the lessons that those two boys have brought me have been the essence of my life for the past 18 years. They are absolutely my two favorite people on the planet, a blend of their father (my husband) and me, raised the way I wanted to raise them, shaped by two interested and interesting parents. Two totally unique beings. What will they become? How will the experiences of their lives help them in their life choices?
This evening, I took my oldest child to GenCon where we had a FABULOUS time people watching and just walking around. Tomorrow, my youngest child will be the "Artist in the Window" at CrazyLake Art House. Two extremely talented, fun, and interesting kids. My life wouldn't be the rich, wonderful existence that it is without these two people I call my children.
Perhaps what I feel I've wasted was my career choice opportunity and this really comes to the forefront of my mind in listening to the teens talk about their futures. I guess I still feel pretty bitter about the 19 years I spent trying reach/teach inner city children in the classroom. From here, I can't see that I had anything but minimal impact. I can't help but feel that my time could have been much better spent. And therein lies my sense of wasted time...