Sunday, March 15, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Education as a Socializing Agency
This is a response to my friend Liz. She was looking for a pre-school for Teagan and she got me to thinking about my children's educational experiences and the way they are now.
"I have very little knowledge of Montessori Schools except for a vague belief that they are very 'free form'. My son Charlie was in a multi-age classroom for grades 1, 2, and 4, which was (in my eyes) an amazingly creative place, with terrifically motivated kids who seemed to be interested in everything and do a million different things at once in the classroom. However, when Charlie went to 5th grade, he had a VERY difficult time adjusting to the structure the regular classroom. I don't regret him being in those classes--those teachers are still the best he had. I see them once in awhile when I sub at his old elementary school and we always laugh and talk, but...I think one of the goals of school is to socialize our children so they can function as part of society on the job and in the community--and I always felt that the freeform nature of the multi-age classes made his life harder in the long run. Because life isn't really like that. You have to learn to play by very stringent rules in school, college, and on the job site. I sense this comment is very unlike me, but... I just remember how awesome Charlie's experiences were and how they paid attention to every aspect of his development (creativity included)--but I also see what a sad, out-of-place child he seems to be now... As if...he was in this wonderful unrealistically nurturing environment, then taken out of it and he never could adapt to...the mediocrity of most of the rest of the world.
This almost makes me cry rereading it, because who would want to put their child into an environment out of which his or her child would reach their maximum creative potential--particularly creative parents like me and like Liz?
I know that I think Charlie is different, special, but all parents do. I think that he's extremely unhappy in his public school setting. He long ago lost interest in doing anything but the absolute minimum to get by and is in the process of making choices that are...well, he'll be limited by them. But something about school, the social structure, or SOMETHING, killed something in him. And it's sad to see.
My final comment on this is a video sent to me by my high school assistant which is extremely thought-provoking: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
Good luck with your choice, Liz, and keep a better eye on things than I did.
Love,
Chris
"I have very little knowledge of Montessori Schools except for a vague belief that they are very 'free form'. My son Charlie was in a multi-age classroom for grades 1, 2, and 4, which was (in my eyes) an amazingly creative place, with terrifically motivated kids who seemed to be interested in everything and do a million different things at once in the classroom. However, when Charlie went to 5th grade, he had a VERY difficult time adjusting to the structure the regular classroom. I don't regret him being in those classes--those teachers are still the best he had. I see them once in awhile when I sub at his old elementary school and we always laugh and talk, but...I think one of the goals of school is to socialize our children so they can function as part of society on the job and in the community--and I always felt that the freeform nature of the multi-age classes made his life harder in the long run. Because life isn't really like that. You have to learn to play by very stringent rules in school, college, and on the job site. I sense this comment is very unlike me, but... I just remember how awesome Charlie's experiences were and how they paid attention to every aspect of his development (creativity included)--but I also see what a sad, out-of-place child he seems to be now... As if...he was in this wonderful unrealistically nurturing environment, then taken out of it and he never could adapt to...the mediocrity of most of the rest of the world.
This almost makes me cry rereading it, because who would want to put their child into an environment out of which his or her child would reach their maximum creative potential--particularly creative parents like me and like Liz?
I know that I think Charlie is different, special, but all parents do. I think that he's extremely unhappy in his public school setting. He long ago lost interest in doing anything but the absolute minimum to get by and is in the process of making choices that are...well, he'll be limited by them. But something about school, the social structure, or SOMETHING, killed something in him. And it's sad to see.
My final comment on this is a video sent to me by my high school assistant which is extremely thought-provoking: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
Good luck with your choice, Liz, and keep a better eye on things than I did.
Love,
Chris
Friday, March 13th
So I got up out of bed today, literally AND figuratively, to take inventory of what I still have...what's left standing...what's salvageable.
I went to GC to see Jacobs and yelled at him because he left me hanging in a serious e-mail conversation. He said, "You said you didn't want to talk about it!" And I said, "And you fell for that???" We laughed. I saw JHudson with surprise-to-see-me in his eyes and real concern and my heart went out to him for making him worry. I saw Zaq and Carie and Jayme, and Matt and Anthony and Taylor and Ashton and IO and I realized that there's really a lot left standing.
I don't think I'm out of the woods yet, but...this morning, I woke up focused on some KidsPlay ideas and THAT is a terrific sign.
I'm having tentative and careful conversations with my soulmate brother and the fact that he...and I...are really trying......we're being so careful. Before I swim across the river to talk with him, I take my heart out, wrap it in a bundle of clothes and hold it high above my head, so it won't get wet while I swim across. I sense he does the same when he swims across to talk to me.
I had lunch with my other soulmate brother and looked at him long and hard and saw, amazingly, that he was still there, too. I sort of can't believe it. I asked him about it...said I knew how 'I was' and he said (oh, I love him for this), "Well, that's just part of knowing you." We shared some ideas--our favorite thing to do--and got excited about the future. He had a couple of hard truths for me, that I'll be awhile processing, but I suspect he's right. He usually is. Usually.
And now, I need to find my girls and assess the damage there. I need to look at my assorted projects and focus my energies, and I need to get over to the Wal-Mart pharmacy so all this positivity doesn't get washed away at high tide. I know how I am. :-)
I went to GC to see Jacobs and yelled at him because he left me hanging in a serious e-mail conversation. He said, "You said you didn't want to talk about it!" And I said, "And you fell for that???" We laughed. I saw JHudson with surprise-to-see-me in his eyes and real concern and my heart went out to him for making him worry. I saw Zaq and Carie and Jayme, and Matt and Anthony and Taylor and Ashton and IO and I realized that there's really a lot left standing.
I don't think I'm out of the woods yet, but...this morning, I woke up focused on some KidsPlay ideas and THAT is a terrific sign.
I'm having tentative and careful conversations with my soulmate brother and the fact that he...and I...are really trying......we're being so careful. Before I swim across the river to talk with him, I take my heart out, wrap it in a bundle of clothes and hold it high above my head, so it won't get wet while I swim across. I sense he does the same when he swims across to talk to me.
I had lunch with my other soulmate brother and looked at him long and hard and saw, amazingly, that he was still there, too. I sort of can't believe it. I asked him about it...said I knew how 'I was' and he said (oh, I love him for this), "Well, that's just part of knowing you." We shared some ideas--our favorite thing to do--and got excited about the future. He had a couple of hard truths for me, that I'll be awhile processing, but I suspect he's right. He usually is. Usually.
And now, I need to find my girls and assess the damage there. I need to look at my assorted projects and focus my energies, and I need to get over to the Wal-Mart pharmacy so all this positivity doesn't get washed away at high tide. I know how I am. :-)
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Regrets
So, I, canceled KidsPlay rehearsal this evening because I was obligated to go to the Arts Council meeting only to have them not renew my contract. Yep, I lost one of my part time jobs. So what? We'll cross that bridge later.
But the real pisser (as my dad would say) is, that I missed one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments. One of my KidsPlayers, my beloved Lauren, did a stand-up comedy routine this evening at an event called "Pure Fun". She and my friend Dennis worked together on it, she auditioned and she got in. Tonight was her performance. We're not talking about an ordinary middle-schooler here. We're talking about THE Lauren Prazeau, whose very realistic goal in life is to be a member of the cast of Saturday Night Live. And I missed it only to go to an Arts Council meeting where they fired me. A once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-repeated, un-make-it-upable event. @$#%$@#. I can't believe it.
Which makes me think of other regrets I've had. There aren't that many really, which is good. Here's the list, in chronological order:
1) I didn't go home to see my sister as Lucy in her high school production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown".
2) I didn't go home for my dad's retirement party.
3) I didn't move to School #19 when I had the chance.
4) I didn't see Lauren do her stand-up routine.
I suppose I should counter this with moments that I WAS there for and have been eternally grateful, but...in reality, they are many. The happy moments, the happy turning points, where turning left or right made all the difference. But that sounds like another entry for another day.
Lauren, I love you so much and I'm sorry I missed your big event. I'm sorry. I hope you forgive me.
But the real pisser (as my dad would say) is, that I missed one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments. One of my KidsPlayers, my beloved Lauren, did a stand-up comedy routine this evening at an event called "Pure Fun". She and my friend Dennis worked together on it, she auditioned and she got in. Tonight was her performance. We're not talking about an ordinary middle-schooler here. We're talking about THE Lauren Prazeau, whose very realistic goal in life is to be a member of the cast of Saturday Night Live. And I missed it only to go to an Arts Council meeting where they fired me. A once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be-repeated, un-make-it-upable event. @$#%$@#. I can't believe it.
Which makes me think of other regrets I've had. There aren't that many really, which is good. Here's the list, in chronological order:
1) I didn't go home to see my sister as Lucy in her high school production of "You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown".
2) I didn't go home for my dad's retirement party.
3) I didn't move to School #19 when I had the chance.
4) I didn't see Lauren do her stand-up routine.
I suppose I should counter this with moments that I WAS there for and have been eternally grateful, but...in reality, they are many. The happy moments, the happy turning points, where turning left or right made all the difference. But that sounds like another entry for another day.
Lauren, I love you so much and I'm sorry I missed your big event. I'm sorry. I hope you forgive me.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Cloverdale: Nowhere to Run to, Baby...
I'm turning my many open hours now to movie-viewing. Apparently we don't own anything good like, oh say, "Forrest Gump"or "Sleepless in Seattle" or even "Gone with the Wind", but we have thousands of videos of crap with titles that include words such as 'outer space', 'amazon women', 'return of...', 'from beyond' and 'horror'.
I found "Cloverdale" in the garage between "Hell's Angels on Wheels" and "Virgin Witch". I know I'm way behind on this, but it was something to do while I stayed busy with costumes...
I'm not going to make a habit of reviewing movies, but this one just begged to be put in its place.
Okay, please.
This was, in short, a horror melodrama. I looked up 'melodrama' in the dictionary and this is what it said: " a dramatic form that does not observe the laws of cause and effect and that exaggerates emotion and emphasizes plot or action at the expense of characterization."
First of all, turn on the #$%@ lights. I HATE these movies where you can't see anything. ANYthing! Like "Alien" (the first one was the only one I saw) and "The Poseidon Adventure". OMG. It just gets old. I was WAY past wanting to know what was going on in the dark ten minutes into it. And hold the camera still. I know, I know...it was supposed to be realistic and real people can't hold the camera still when buildings are blowing up and large monsters are chasing them. They also can't hold it still when they're falling off a roof or someone runs over them with a bicycle. We learned that from watching "America's Funniest Home Videos". People can't hold the camera still. The difference is that AFHV clips are like 30 seconds long. This was a freaking...what...three hours???
Second, these teens or 20-somethings or whatever they were. We first met this sort in "The Breakfast Club" and later in "St. Elmo's Fire". They think they're invincible and they have authority issues. In short, rules were not made for them. Were they for real? Everybody, especially 20-somethings, thinks they're a super hero: Batman, one of the Watchmen, or John McClane. Please. Who do you think you are? This is a generation of kids that started out begging for a candy bar in the grocery store: ("Please, Mom." "No." Please, Mom." "No." "Please, Mom." "Okay.") and now are defying men with guns in life and death situations. If I had been the National Guard trying to get them on that helicopter, I'd have just shot them to get them out of my face. "Get on the helicopter." "No." Get on the helicopter." "No." "Get on the helicopter." "No." BLAMMO!!
The opening party sequence went on way too long. Was that supposed to make me have empathy and care about these characters when they start dropping like flies (mostly because of their own stupidity)? Shades of "Less than Zero". Boring, self-indulgence. And that was one amazing vid-cam battery, wasn't it???
My three least favorite phrases:
1) I'm going with you.
2) We gotta get out of here.
3) Are you okay?
Let's address them one at a time.
1) "I'm going with you." What kind of simple-minded female (because it's always a female, now, isn't it?) says this? I wonder why they didn't just start playing Little Peggy March's hit, "..I will follow him...follow him wherever he may go...there isn't an ocean too deep...a monster so scary that would keep...keep me away!" Gag. I promise you, this is something you will never hear me say. More than likely, I would say, "I'm getting the $#% out of here. You do what's best for you." Or maybe even, "You're coming with me or you're going to sit in time out." Begging the fact that the only ones I would ever have to say this to were my kids, of course.
2) "We gotta get outta here." No shit, Sherlock. And if you weren't so bent on "I'm going with you", you could have had your chance!!! Any number of times!!!
3) "Are you okay?" FUCK, NO, we're not okay!!! NONE OF US WILL EVER BE OKAY AGAIN!!! We're talking PTSD for LIFE, IF we live. This one here has lost all his family members. This one here has been bitten by a giant bug (which we saw in "King Kong", thank you very much). This one here just got half-eaten by Carnasaur (but the camera survived!!) OMG.
So what happened to the chick that got bit? Did she just explode? Apparently. No original ideas here. That was the ONE scene from "Alien" that took place in a clean, well-lit room.
Did they really think that girl was still alive, still there, waiting for them at the apartment??? Yes. They. Did. And by golly, she was! Under a bunch of crap, but her beautiful and emotive face were virtually untouched.
The dialogue. Excuse while I get my barf bag. Who wrote this? George Lucas?
Her: "Is it really you? Oh...you...came...back...for me..."
Him: "Of course I did..." [background roaring and rumbling] "OH SHIT!! We gotta get outta here." Such poignancy.
Okay. Yes, it did have two things going for it:
1) In spite of the annoying camera work, it was innovative. Sort of like "Blair Witch", but updated...
2) And the obvious 9/11 similarities were chilling. But that's all.
So here comes Charlie, my 17-year-old. He says, "You obviously didn't understand it. And by the way, it's Cloverfield, not Cloverdale." Well, whatever. It was still stupid.
I found "Cloverdale" in the garage between "Hell's Angels on Wheels" and "Virgin Witch". I know I'm way behind on this, but it was something to do while I stayed busy with costumes...
I'm not going to make a habit of reviewing movies, but this one just begged to be put in its place.
Okay, please.
This was, in short, a horror melodrama. I looked up 'melodrama' in the dictionary and this is what it said: " a dramatic form that does not observe the laws of cause and effect and that exaggerates emotion and emphasizes plot or action at the expense of characterization."
First of all, turn on the #$%@ lights. I HATE these movies where you can't see anything. ANYthing! Like "Alien" (the first one was the only one I saw) and "The Poseidon Adventure". OMG. It just gets old. I was WAY past wanting to know what was going on in the dark ten minutes into it. And hold the camera still. I know, I know...it was supposed to be realistic and real people can't hold the camera still when buildings are blowing up and large monsters are chasing them. They also can't hold it still when they're falling off a roof or someone runs over them with a bicycle. We learned that from watching "America's Funniest Home Videos". People can't hold the camera still. The difference is that AFHV clips are like 30 seconds long. This was a freaking...what...three hours???
Second, these teens or 20-somethings or whatever they were. We first met this sort in "The Breakfast Club" and later in "St. Elmo's Fire". They think they're invincible and they have authority issues. In short, rules were not made for them. Were they for real? Everybody, especially 20-somethings, thinks they're a super hero: Batman, one of the Watchmen, or John McClane. Please. Who do you think you are? This is a generation of kids that started out begging for a candy bar in the grocery store: ("Please, Mom." "No." Please, Mom." "No." "Please, Mom." "Okay.") and now are defying men with guns in life and death situations. If I had been the National Guard trying to get them on that helicopter, I'd have just shot them to get them out of my face. "Get on the helicopter." "No." Get on the helicopter." "No." "Get on the helicopter." "No." BLAMMO!!
The opening party sequence went on way too long. Was that supposed to make me have empathy and care about these characters when they start dropping like flies (mostly because of their own stupidity)? Shades of "Less than Zero". Boring, self-indulgence. And that was one amazing vid-cam battery, wasn't it???
My three least favorite phrases:
1) I'm going with you.
2) We gotta get out of here.
3) Are you okay?
Let's address them one at a time.
1) "I'm going with you." What kind of simple-minded female (because it's always a female, now, isn't it?) says this? I wonder why they didn't just start playing Little Peggy March's hit, "..I will follow him...follow him wherever he may go...there isn't an ocean too deep...a monster so scary that would keep...keep me away!" Gag. I promise you, this is something you will never hear me say. More than likely, I would say, "I'm getting the $#% out of here. You do what's best for you." Or maybe even, "You're coming with me or you're going to sit in time out." Begging the fact that the only ones I would ever have to say this to were my kids, of course.
2) "We gotta get outta here." No shit, Sherlock. And if you weren't so bent on "I'm going with you", you could have had your chance!!! Any number of times!!!
3) "Are you okay?" FUCK, NO, we're not okay!!! NONE OF US WILL EVER BE OKAY AGAIN!!! We're talking PTSD for LIFE, IF we live. This one here has lost all his family members. This one here has been bitten by a giant bug (which we saw in "King Kong", thank you very much). This one here just got half-eaten by Carnasaur (but the camera survived!!) OMG.
So what happened to the chick that got bit? Did she just explode? Apparently. No original ideas here. That was the ONE scene from "Alien" that took place in a clean, well-lit room.
Did they really think that girl was still alive, still there, waiting for them at the apartment??? Yes. They. Did. And by golly, she was! Under a bunch of crap, but her beautiful and emotive face were virtually untouched.
The dialogue. Excuse while I get my barf bag. Who wrote this? George Lucas?
Her: "Is it really you? Oh...you...came...back...for me..."
Him: "Of course I did..." [background roaring and rumbling] "OH SHIT!! We gotta get outta here." Such poignancy.
Okay. Yes, it did have two things going for it:
1) In spite of the annoying camera work, it was innovative. Sort of like "Blair Witch", but updated...
2) And the obvious 9/11 similarities were chilling. But that's all.
So here comes Charlie, my 17-year-old. He says, "You obviously didn't understand it. And by the way, it's Cloverfield, not Cloverdale." Well, whatever. It was still stupid.
Dream Theme: Friends/Travel/Tornadoes
Dream One: I dreamed I was in a room playing Werewolf with the cast of "The Odd Couple" in spite of the fact that I have sworn off Werewolf (and adult theatre).
Dream Two: Traveling with the family--out west, South Dakota or someplace like it. We stopped at a campground where there was some construction going on. It was very open air...dry...you could see for miles. I think we set up camp and the kids were relaxing. The staff of the campground were construction types. It was a bit unsettling that there seemed to be..a lot of voodoo accouterments laying/hanging around. We were just settling in when the construction guys started packing up and advised us to do the same. Something was coming, but I didn't quite get what... Something evil? Or storms? I looked at the horizon and saw a big black cloud of dust, like the ones in "Wall*E"...but maybe also some funnel clouds forming. Their advice was that we should get on the road because then at least we could see the storms (?) and drive away from and around them. So I started throwing stuff in the car and yelling at the boys to pack up as quickly as possible. They were mad, nasty to me, and so forth, but....I'm the mom and they have to do what I say....
Self-analysis: Okay, there's lots in this second dream from recent life.
1) First of all, traveling is a recurring theme, as are storms.
2) Tornadoes and bears have always been the symbols of stress in my dreams dating way back....
3) The voodoo accoutrements were like the ones on the native island in the recently watched "King Kong"
4) The dust cloud from the also recently watched "Wall*E".
5) Yelling at the kids, which is what I do every morning to get them out the door and on the bus. And they're mean back to me.
6) Construction? From the Studio? We're just in their way?
Finally, three remembered dreams in three days. Three days in a row of migraines, and migraine medicine. Hmmm.
Dream Two: Traveling with the family--out west, South Dakota or someplace like it. We stopped at a campground where there was some construction going on. It was very open air...dry...you could see for miles. I think we set up camp and the kids were relaxing. The staff of the campground were construction types. It was a bit unsettling that there seemed to be..a lot of voodoo accouterments laying/hanging around. We were just settling in when the construction guys started packing up and advised us to do the same. Something was coming, but I didn't quite get what... Something evil? Or storms? I looked at the horizon and saw a big black cloud of dust, like the ones in "Wall*E"...but maybe also some funnel clouds forming. Their advice was that we should get on the road because then at least we could see the storms (?) and drive away from and around them. So I started throwing stuff in the car and yelling at the boys to pack up as quickly as possible. They were mad, nasty to me, and so forth, but....I'm the mom and they have to do what I say....
Self-analysis: Okay, there's lots in this second dream from recent life.
1) First of all, traveling is a recurring theme, as are storms.
2) Tornadoes and bears have always been the symbols of stress in my dreams dating way back....
3) The voodoo accoutrements were like the ones on the native island in the recently watched "King Kong"
4) The dust cloud from the also recently watched "Wall*E".
5) Yelling at the kids, which is what I do every morning to get them out the door and on the bus. And they're mean back to me.
6) Construction? From the Studio? We're just in their way?
Finally, three remembered dreams in three days. Three days in a row of migraines, and migraine medicine. Hmmm.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Dream Theme: Miscellaneous
This afternoon (during my nap), I dreamed that I was depressed, so depressed that all I wanted to do was sleep. Hmm. And I slept through this year's Hancock County Children's Theatre production. Go figure. In the dream, I was asleep, just wanted to sleep, and I couldn't make myself get up and go to the performance. In the dream, I would wake up, but feel so sluggish that I couldn't move to get up. And I knew that Rachelle and Dennis would be so disappointed that I hadn't gone to see the kids in their show....
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