It is Wednesday of Tech Week. When I look back, what memory will remain of this week, this show? I already don't have a memory of Monday. In the circuitous train of thoughts in my head, there's probably one-third or even more that's blacked out right now, so that when the minute hand of my thought cycle edges into it, I just fast-forward through it. Simply cannot afford to be distracted. I won't let myself. Must see this through to the end. Too many people counting on me. Too many trusting children's faces looking hopefully up at me as their leader...to see them through to the end, to make this a wonderful and positive experience for them, to be the strong leader that they need me to be. Sometimes I drift around to asking a question: Why? What? Where? I'm mostly met with short answers...or a shrug, and I don't press. Clearly, they've been coached; they've collectively agreed that this train should not derail.
Today is our matinee. And once again, I'm out of bed before the alarm. Need to get more pop, bump up the lobby, talk to Leah, print out the reservation sheet....details, details. I will lead and direct and answer all the questions, make all the decisions, be all that I am called on to be, and love, love, love those kids. I will see this through to the end. And then what?