Okay, I have to write or it might get worse... Is it like a cold that will go away? Or will it just get worse and worse until...until what? Can I just see myself through it? Right now, it's a plateau, a flat tabletop plain. Yeah, a mesa! That's what it is. It escalated for awhile, but now it's flattened out some. Whether it gets better or worse depends on what I do about it, I suppose....or what happens. It doesn't feel real. Nothing feels normal. Everything feels forced. It's ick.