Why Am I the Loser?

Why am I the loser here? I did everything you told me to do. I let you switch parts, I cast the girls, I bought the glasses, I told the truth. So why is it that I feel like I'm the big loser? You say you'll never do another show with me and that he won't either. Why is that when I did everything you asked? I lost. I lost the group, I lost my best actors, I lost my best friends, I lost my own inner voice, I lost my sense of place in the community, and for awhile there, I lost the desire to get up out of bed. Everyone went on their merry way, doing stuff together, games, dinner, stuff I'm not invited to. I miss our friendship terribly. You say it's still there, but it's not the same. It's lost.