I haven't written for awhile. Have you missed me? I can't write when I'm sad...or, I shouldn't write when I'm sad... The years, nay, decades that separate me from those years of teenage angst are not so many, you know.... And Now is not nearly so bad as a year ago, when it was REALLY dark and I was scaring not only the people around me, but myself, too. Or...that first time...that was very bad. But it's 10:30, and I can't get out of bed. So many things that need to be done. So tired of talking and listening. I can't sort it all out. My biggest fear is that I'll disappoint the people I love. I already have, I know. My biggest fear is that I'll drive away the people I love. I already have, I think. I'm bored of listening to myself, so must they be also. When did I become so needy and dependent on the guidance of others? Where is my OWN inner voice? My biggest fear is that what's done will never be undone. It is, it isn't, it is, it isn't. Am I destined to battle the dark my whole life? What have I done here?
Hmm. Writing helps.